Risa Ganel

How to Get The Most from Couples Therapy

By Risa Davis-Ganel, LCMFT (Adapted with permission from The Couples Institute by Ellyn Bader, Ph.D and Peter Pearson, Ph.D) You have agonized over it. You want to, but at the same time you don’t want to. Then one day, the disagreements become too much. You can’t take it any more. You have to do something different. So, you take the leap, pick up the phone and made an appointment for couples therapy. Whew! You may feel some relief already. Just knowing that you have taken a step toward addressing the problems that have plagued your relationship can make you breathe a bit easier. But what happens next? This article is designed to help you get the most benefit from your couples therapy sessions. What should you expect at the first appointment? Therapy generally begins from the first phone call, or nowadays, from the first click of the mouse! It is in the first moment of contact with the therapist that you get a feel for his/her personality, tone of voice and way of doing business. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about experience, licensure, fees and so on. It is important that you find a therapist that is trained and licensed to do couples therapy and with whom you feel comfortable working. At the first session, there is likely to be paperwork that needs to be completed. Plan to arrive approximately 10 minutes prior to the session in order to complete the paperwork. This way you do not lose time meeting with the therapist. Sessions usually last 50 minutes and office policies and paperwork are reviewed at the beginning of the session. The rest of the time is spent getting to know you and your partner, the issues that you are concerned about, and your goals for therapy. Goals and Objectives of Couples Therapy The primary goal of most couples therapy is to increase your knowledge about yourself, your partner and the patterns of interaction between you. Therapy becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop more productive and satisfying ways of interacting. It is important that you establish objectives that include ideas about:  The kind of life you want to … [Read More...]